Workplace Challenges
What employees fear most at workWith Halloween approaching, it’s a fitting time to give some thought to the things that scare us about work. Tag and Catherine Goulet |
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FabJob.com
Over the past year, the economy’s impact has been terrifying at times. However, it’s not just the threat of being laid off or the fear of looking for a new job that frightens workers.
According to a recent news release from VitalSmarts, a company that provides training and consulting for Fortune 500 companies, what employees fear most are scary conversations at work.
A poll conducted in September, 2009 by the authors of the New York Times bestselling book, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, found more than 70 percent of people run in fear from a scary conversation with their boss, coworker or direct report.
The poll found the number one person employees fear holding a scary conversation with is their boss (such as the respondent who had to tell her boss that his daughter was not qualified to be hired for an open position).
The most common topic of these scary conversations is bad behavior. Respondents shared examples of the four scariest conversations to hold at work:
Bad behavior: "I had to tell my manager that my supervisor was a terrible leader and doing long-term damage to the company."
Obnoxious behavior: "My coworker was meddling in my life and criticizing my children. She actually said my daughter looked like a hooker."
Illegal activity: "An executive accused me of changing a document after he had signed it."
Performance reviews: "I had to explain to my direct report that his intentions/actions were not being well received by staff, and that it would hurt his credibility to continue on that path."
Some people are so leery of these conversations that they’re literally running the other way in fear. One respondent hurried into the women’s bathroom to avoid the person with whom she needed to hold a scary conversation -- to her surprise, he followed her in there!
According to the poll of more than 970 people, 34 percent put off holding a scary conversation for at least a month while nearly one in four have put off the conversation for more than a year. Common escape methods include avoiding the person, dancing around the topic, and even quitting their job.
What’s more, these conversations aren’t only scary, they’re also destructive. According to the poll, people who are less than "fairly confident" in their ability to succeed in a scary conversation are 59 percent more likely to live with poor productivity, 96 percent more likely to live with poor morale, and 86 percent more likely to live with a poor work environment.
Joseph Grenny, coauthor of Crucial Conversations and cofounder of VitalSmarts (www.vitalsmarts.com), says the skills to speak up to anyone about anything aren’t just nice to have, they’re necessary to have in order to be successful.
"Scary conversations are crucial conversations," says Grenny. "In these moments, most people run the other way because experience tells them the other person will be angry or defensive. However, our research shows the select few who speak up candidly and respectfully -- no matter the topic -- are viewed as the top performers in their organization."
Grenny says with the right set of skills, these conversations don’t have to be scary. He offers six tips for approaching and conquering scary conversations about bad behavior:
Talk face-to-face and in private. Don’t chicken out by reverting to e-mail or phone.
Assume the best of others. Perhaps he or she is unaware of what they’re doing. Enter the conversation as a curious friend rather than an angry co-worker.
Use tentative language. Begin to describe the problem by saying, “I’m not sure you’re intending this . . .” or “I’m not even sure you’re aware. . .”
Share facts not conclusions. Not only are conclusions possibly wrong, but they also create defensiveness. Say, “In the last two meetings you laughed at my suggestion. I expect people to disagree, but laughing?”
Ask for their view. Next, ask if they see the problem differently. You’re now poised to have a healthy conversation about bad behavior.
Use equal treatment. These skills apply to bosses and co-workers alike. Everyone should be treated like a reasonable, rational person who deserves your respect.
We hope these tips help make your workplace less scary this Halloween.
Tag and Catherine Goulet are founders of FabJob.com, a publisher of career guides offering step-by-step advice for breaking into a variety of dream careers. Visit www.FabJob.com to subscribe to their free career newsletter.
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